1. Digg "No Job Needed" Credit Card

The Digg card is for individuals who spend at least sixteen hours per day on the computer. The computer must be located in a basement or some other dark hovel. Otherwise, no other criteria must be met, as Digg's cash-back program eliminates the need for a serious job for up to ten years (face it, you do intend to work one day).

• 0% APR for ten years, after which you must develop skills beyond 'Digging.' At that point, you should know enough about SEO, human psychology, and headline writing to land a job as a CEO.
• No Annual Fee: You must write at least five titillating articles per year about this credit card and invite your circle of intimate moles to Digg those articles to maintain this "no annual fee" status.
• 90% cash rewards that never expire for any purchase, as long as it's made via the Internet and you Digg the purchase.
• Each time your article makes Digg's front page, you'll be rewarded with the remaining 10% that you spent on all previous purchases.
• Pay your bill in full monthly with your cash rewards and your Diggs will never be 'buried'.

2. Feedburner "Up In Smoke" Credit Card

Feedburner offers their small business credit card to business owners who want to realize profits from Web content and who want to keep personal and business records separate. Unlike other small business credit cards, the Feedburner card provides 24/7 access to stats that will blow your mind, especially since Google acquired those stats and will probably complicate them beyond all belief (but you'll have fun with the visuals).

• 0% APR, even when you decide to advertise in front of a group of A-list bloggers.
• There's no limit on the cash you can earn, even if you don't blog for a week (slight reduction for a month's absence).
• Earn 25 points for each dollar you spend on the Total Stats Program. Earn 5,000 points per week for life if you can figure out how to funnel and convert your stats from Feedburner, Google Analytics, and AdWords after two martinis.
• Redeem your points at any Hawaiian open pit luau (taxes might apply to airfare, maybe not).
• No Annual Fee: Are you kidding? Why do they need your money now?

3. Firefox "Keep On Giving" Credit Card

The Firefox credit card is for individuals who like to share their resources while surfing the Web securely. This card is available only to those individuals who can break the IE habit. Unlike other 0% APR cards, Firefox offers their card without interest for life. That's right. You never pay.

• 0% APR forever, plus more add-ons than you can count for life.
• Flexible Rewards Program: Earn Points for time spent customizing your Web experience, writing code for Mozilla, and by participating in grassroots marketing experiences. Redeem those Points for a high-paying tech job where you head up a department, thanks to all your experience.
• No Annual Fee: Once you obtain a high-paying job, you can opt to donate a tax-deductible annual fee that will fund server space for new open source projects.
• No fees for unlimited balance transfer, even if you can't build apps.
• You earn five Firefox Points for each month you pay your bill in full (called "donating"). You also earn Firefox Points for every person you refer to Firefox.
• Redeem Firefox Points at the Mozilla Store, or give them to someone who works at Microsoft for kicks and giggles.

4. Google "You've Got History" Credit Card

If you've searched high and low for the perfect credit card, Google will probably provide your answer. The Google card is designed for cardholders who want access to their credit history from well before they were born. But, you don't need great credit to apply for this card — you just need a search history where you've used Google at least once.

• 0% APR no matter which search engine you use. You'll come back.
• 10 points for every dollar you spend with "Where's Google?" written or stamped on it.
• 50 additional points worth USD $1 each for every dollar spent on Google shares (GOOG).
• Redeem rewards points for Google shares with no blackout dates (except for times when NASDAQ market is closed).
• No fees for balance transfer until GOOG splits. At that point Google will pay you for sticking around for so long.

5. Hack-A-Day "Even I Can't Hack This" Pre-Paid Credit Card

Sure, free pre-paid credit cards provide a great way for anyone to use a card no matter how shoddy the credit. You don't even need a bank account to acquire a pre-paid card. But, the Hack-A-Day credit card goes one step further, as this card sends a mild shock through anyone who tries to steal it from you. Additionally, the card can't be hacked, because you actually pay for the card way after you use it to purchase your items. Sometimes you don't need to pay for the card at all, depending upon the type of purchase (lasers, for example, are free).

• 0% APR, since you either pay for the card in advance or don't pay at all, depending upon your mood or the availability of any metal-like substance.
• Limited load capacity depending upon your number of comments on the Hack-A-Day site and the tone that you use. So, beware of overloading the card. Go ahead; try it to see what happens.
• No minimum balance. Plenty of room for negative balance as long as you send in over two photos per year that portray hack jobs that you or a friend or family member created. This is a very liberal policy and in beta.
• Earn five motherboards for every dollar you spend.
• If you can build a shelter from those motherboards, you may win a contest where you'll receive five truckloads filled with old peripherals.

6. Lifehacker "Tipster" Credit Card

The Lifehacker credit card is perfect for people with no credit, as this card will help build credibility if you can memorize lists and short news blurbs and work those items into everyday conversations. This card is easy to use and the rewards are enormous, but only if you write them on your palm and don't wash your hands for a week.

• No Annual Fee: Building credibility should be priceless.
• Credit line might be as high as an elephant's eye, which is about the same height as the price of corn grown for ethanol (or the height of a server farm for that matter).
• 0% APR on balance transfers as long as you recycle your electronic equipment responsibly.
• Lifehacker offers one software or productivity tip or trick for every dollar you spend. These tips are yours and yours alone and will never be published on the Lifehacker site. They want you to look smart when you use their card.
• Participate in a Sweepstakes Opportunity where you win the opportunity to try to sell Lifehacker to Google for as much as possible. You retain 75% of the sale after taxes, plus free tips for life.

7. OSTG "Get Geek" Credit Card

Open Source Technology Group (OSTG) offers a credit card to geeks who can balance their binary clocks with their green laser pointers while taking photos with their James Bond Stealth Digital Cameras. You get instant approval if you can spell "Slashdot" backwards on the online application; however, unlike other instant approval solutions where you may wait weeks to receive your credit card, OSTG sends your card via overnight delivery so you can use it, like, tomorrow.

• 0% APR for as long as Linux lives. That's forever.
• Voted "Best Open Source Line of Credit" by Elliott C. Back, who uses this card to warn people about his mystic technical abilities.
• Receive 1 gigabyte in Bonus Points if you use this card to visit any Nerd Getaway.
• Redeem points for any item at ThinkGeek. No shipping fees. No taxes. No worries.
• No annual fee as long as you know where technology is going.

8. Treehugger "Sustainable Aesthetic" Credit Card

Treehugger provides their biodegradable credit card to anyone who can label any purchase as "green" with logical rationales. You must first provide corporate names behind your purchase from concept to actual production, marketing, and product placement. Otherwise, you're free to roam through clearcuts or forests with the benefits provided by Treehugger's Travel Rewards, which, unlike other travel rewards programs, provides restrictions and penalties for carbon footprints.

• 0% Apr for life as long as you wear something organic and don't use the card to purchase bottled water.
• No Annual Fee: Does a tree pay to live? Not.
• Earn a partial trust fund for every purchase made through Treehugger. Ignore any product reviews written by their readers, and they'll double the reward.
• Travel points rewarded for running with wolves whenever possible. You can redeem travel points for hydrogen bicycles or for walking, running, or swimming.
• Treehugger card benefits include real and armchair accident insurance (wolves do bite, whatever bees are left still sting, and you can hurt yourself laughing while just looking at Bill Maher, no matter your political leaning).

9. Wikipedia "Unbridled Passion" Credit Card

Wikipedia offers their contactless credit card to anyone who is passionate about at least one thing in life and who can cite at least half the facts about that passion. You can use this card in any country where a language is spoken. Just wave your Wikipedia card at a special RFID reader and they'll bill you, but — unlike other contactless credit cards — you can edit your bill as you see fit.

• Ongoing 0% APR for every month that you write or edit a Wikipedia entry and cite your entries with credible sources. Or not.
• Fee-Free Rewards Program: If you remain loyal to Wikipedia for at least two years and they can verify that you exist, they'll pay for your college education, no links attached.
• No Annual Fee: You also don't receive a soapbox or an original thought. You won't be censored, but your ideas may be edited or removed altogether from the Rewards Program for shock site inclusion; however, you can slip in a few double entendres if you're sharp.
• Wikipedia is your launch pad for collaborative efforts and discriminate tastes. Shop for as many internal links as you want without penalties for late payment or for bounced checks and balances.

10. Wired "Danger Room" Credit Card

The Wired "Danger Room" credit card is for individuals who like to maintain a defensive posture about their purchases. If nothing else is secure, at least your credit will be safe. This card is perfect for small businesses, especially those entities that face intense competition from fierce developing nations.

• 0% APR for the life of your camos, no matter what Homeland Security says.
• You don't earn points with this program, but you do gain access to any number of highly secretive local and regional survival shelters. If you blab about these shelters, your line of credit will be immediately withdrawn and you'll spend a year in a small room with Martha Stewart and a microwave.
• No Annual Fee: Plus, Zoltan, the only Belgian Malinois on the CIA K-9 Corps, won't target your kids (nieces, nephews, neighbor's kids, etc.).
• No fees for balance transfers, and Danger Points awarded for any Coast Guard purchases made after 2006.
• Travel Points awarded to anyone who adopts a platoon, but restrictions may apply depending upon whether your trip is voluntary or mandatory.